For the last several days I've been walking a friend of mine through a veterinary health crisis with their cats (while finishing one with my son's dog, Tidbit). So lucky we have met amazing doctors, vet techs and compassionate, informative souls along the way who are happy to help when help is needed. The strain of my friend's heart over this is another matter. We had an interesting short chat about how this situation creates a trauma for everyone involved, and how we navigate that trauma dictates how it anchors with us for the long haul. This weeks sacred dance with life and death, wellness and illness has inspired this poem...
Your face, so fine.
Each day you've graced my sacred life
Has changed me, grown me, shaped me
Molded me more into the person I am in this breath.
You're what's left
Of decades of existing and Becoming in myself;
All that is here with me in the now
Bellowing in their own ways
The ways of my yesterdays.
This is present.
You and I in a moment less pleasant
Holding tight to the life thread that feels entangled
Feels faded
Feels unsure of what's next for this
Painted, lively soul,
Wrapped up in their discomfort. I've got you.
I may not know the best step
to take next in your treatment
But I'm here, figuring it out with you
Side by side.
As much as it pains me, unnerves me, and quakes me
There is no where else I'd rather be in this time
Than holding space for you to realign.
Listening to your heart talk to mine.
Language of love is filled with small signs
Little bits of intuitive knowing
growing together into actions for our balance.
There's a dance at work in the nature of this
And maybe I'm not hearing the music now
But my body is already in the flow
Something about me knows where to go
And how to offer help
I don't need to intellectually hear it;
The best or most ideal of anything
-of anything.
We are present and in the now.
And I will hold you, in all this, somehow
Even if my arms can't reach you in a comforting place
this link, this bond cannot be phased
by the changes of our existence.
Love does not come with the condition
That you stay the same, dear heart.
I love You.
And somehow in all this,
I've Got You.
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